What is Friendship?

I have lately found that friendship issues are forcing themselves on my mind and thoughts. Writing this post is triggered by the post of my friend, Mary, on the following link http://marymourad.com/column/?p=84

In fact, friends are not only people whom we just share some time with. Real friendship is one that lasts no matter what happens in our lives, how far apart we’ve travelled, or how busy our life gets. A true friend is one whose memory, name, or face flashes through our minds in several and various occasions. These occasions differ in nature and I divide them into two main categories: “For us” and “from us”. Examples of the first category are: when we need a true and honest advice; when we are sad and need someone to hear, care, and understand with little explanation; when we need a helping hand with no fear of having to pay back; when we fear something and need a voice or a smile of reassurance; when we are lonely in happiness and need someone to share without fearing their envy. The second category examples include: when we see something that a friend loves and buy it for them or call them to share this memory; when we find something that a friend needs and has been looking for to tell them to come and choose among colors or sizes….; when we exert every effort possible to be with this person when they ask for our presence; when we are upset from someone and forgive (even without being asked to) because we are sure that this person didn’t mean to hurt us; when telepathy exists; when we feel happy or sad just because they are so; when we call someone that is calling us at the same moment or on the same day without knowing that they just called; when we remember tiny details of our meetings and memories together; when we feel very worried about someone and can’t relax without calling them…..etc.

When we have persons like this, they are TRUE FRIENDS that we should cherish and never give up. It is not a must that we are in contact all the time because life is too busy to communicate with everyone all the time. Life is much brighter having them closeby. They can even save our life sacrifying things that are very dear to their hearts.

A very important issue about friendship is that it is a two-way relationship. It is like the clock pendulum. To go, it should come back. This back-and-forth movement is the thing that moves the needle and make the closk work. If the pendulum goes one way and refuses to go the other way, the clock will stop working even though it used to be a very beautiful one that worked for so long. A mistake that many friends do is that they offer so much and refuse taking anything. This is another type of greed. The “greed to let you give”. It is as bad as the “greed to give to you”.   

The most impressive stories I have experienced in my life are following:

1) Calling many of my friends whom I haven’t called for several months at the very moment of arriving home after giving birth to her child. Sometimes after less than 24 hours of delivery.

2) On my graduation day, none of my family could attend the ceremony. My brother was at work, my father had an operation, and my mother had to stay with him. I was completely alone, feeling no taste of happiness at all. I was considering not attending the ceremony even though I have waited for it for so long……. And suddenly, my phone rang. I heard “Huh! Tell me, sweetie! When do you want me to pick you up to go to the ceremony?”  This was my friend that I have always found by my side in lonely occasions. She picked me up, photoggraphed me with my colleagues, and waited for me the whole day until I told her that I want to leave. She made my day an unforgettable one!

3) This is the strangest ever!

I used to live with my family abroad and went to a school there. There was a friend that I have known but we were not very close. Even though, I always had a feeling that she is a special person to me even though we had very few in common. This “very few” was even unclear until 15 years later!

We were school mates (not in the same grade) and it happened that we used to live in close neighborhoods. At the end of our second year of acquaintance, my grandma was very sick back home, and my mom had to travel and care for her. I remained there with my dad and brother alone. I suddenly found that my friend’s mother took my mom’s role immediately. Three months ahead and my family had to go back home.

Letters went back and forth and I met her twice after that on two consecutive summers (once every summer). Then letters stopped. Mistakes happened like the post stamping on the P.O.Box number so the letter was resent back to me. I moved from my home so I changed phone number and address. My aunt and hers changed phone numbers (and these were two spare numbers we had of each other)…..and many other destiny oppositions occured. The bottom line, we lost contact of each other. I kept looking for every possible person that  can lead me to her. For example anyone having the same last name. For 12 years, we completely lost contact of each other……..

Twelve years later, I had a course in the USA that will make me travel for three weeks. While I was preparing for it, I looked for her name on Facebook (hopelessly). I found her two siblings!!! I added them and they replied to me!!! I could reach her finally and their family moved to the US for good. A few months later (and one month before my travel date) I received a phone call from her. It was the same passionate voise I was used to. But she told me that she’ll be having a critical operation in her backbone in a few hours from the call and she needed me to pray for her:-((

Three weeks later, we were together again for 48 hours. She killing my homesickness….and I sharing her pains…………